Friday, June 8, 2018

Does the Honeymoon phase end?

I have heard marriage advice given to many couples, and something that I hear that always catches me by surprise is, make sure to enjoy the honeymoon phrase while you can before its gone. This advice makes me sad because the honeymoon phase is said to be one of so much happiness and you just cant get enough of each other, why does that have to end? May I suggest  that it doesn't have to end, I know that may be something absurd, but if couples work to build their relationship then I believe that many beautiful blessings can come from marriage.
Marriage therapist throughout the United states suggest that the task within the first month of marriage is to become one. However before becoming one there is a pattern that can help you become a super couple. The pattern is as follows, Dating, Courtship,Engagement,Marriage. And within each one of those stages there are different tips to have a stronger relationship, we discussed dating last week when we talked about togetherness, time, and talk. Each are critical to a solid base of a relationship. Dating is something that should be fun, and taken lightly, discover the things that you like and things that are not necessarily your favorite and decide the qualities that you want in a future spouse, after dating you move to the courtship phase, during courtship you are dating someone seriously with an eye towards marriage, once you have dated that person and you have decided that they posses similar qualities to that of what you want the next phase is the engagement phase, during this phase you are building boundaries, boundaries between you and your fiance but also between you as a couple, and between friends and family. How much are friends going to be involved, and where does your family fit in your marriage. It is also the time in which you are planning a wedding which can put a whole new level of stress on the relationship, this is also the phase in which you want to make sure that you are accustomed to their family, maybe make sure that you understand a majority of their family traditions and then make sure that you understand how your significant others family has worked, what are the expectations of their family. Once you make it through the engagement phase you reach the top goal of marriage. Hopefully by the point of marriage you have discussed important topics with your significant other so that you make the beginning of your married life a little bit easier.
Once you get married you begin trying to mesh two very independent lives into one. The 1st month may bring up challenges that you did not anticipate, i think that the biggest thing is to remember to include each other in your feelings and be open to discussions. But also be cautious in remembering that involving outside sources may not be the best idea, for example if you go to your mother you tell her about something your new husband did but you and the husband end up resolving the issue your mother still sees her son in law as the person that did so and so. Remember that you are now a team and need to work together to create a beautiful life for yourselves. Be willing to be flexible, your spouse is learning how to be married as well. I believe that there is not really a right way, that is the beautiful thing you get to create the marriage together.

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