Family theories

Before I dive into the theories of a family, what is a theory? A Theory in social science is defined as an attempt to explain a phenomenon. When we come up with theories we tend to drive for the treatment, and the solution.
    There are a few theories that are entwined with the family here are some that may interest you:
1. Exchange theory: I do something nice for you, and now its your turn to do something nice for me.
2. Symbolic interaction theory: When a persons interactions and experiences are influenced by interactions and experiences. Suggests that everything we do has symbolic meaning
3. Conflict theory: All societies are characterized by inequality, conflict, and changes as groups within the society struggle over scarce resources.
4. Family Systems theory: Looks at the family as a whole, showing that a whole is greater that the sum of its parts
Of all of these theories I find the symbolic interaction theory the most interesting to me. Because our behavior will always symbolize something, but it is a little more complicated because we never know what the other person is thinking. For example if you have a father who is upset and angry at his son for walking on the carpet with muddy shoes, and the son talks back to him and then the father walks out of the room. The son may look at the fathers actions and think my dad doesn't love me my dad hates me, I am a terrible son. Whereas the father walking our may be thinking " I need to calm myself down before I do something that I will regret," or he may be thinking " I need to rethink how I am going to teach my son." Looking at both sides we can see how both parties see their side. Both the son and the father created a theory about the other party, they created the thought process of the other person without knowing what the other person was thinking. We as humans create theories all the time as another example is when a person of the opposite gender texts you " hey what are you doing?" what is the first thing you think, They want to do something, or they are bored and want to talk, or they simply are curious about what you are doing. We come up with theories all the time, but it is important to remember that we can know what others are thinking and that we need think things through before we react in an extreme way.
       Families are driven by rules, and we are always communicating with each other but it is the effectiveness of that communication that creates either peace or tension. Communication is a great way to solve conflict but the main problem of communication is not that we are not communicating it is how effective we are in communicating. When we are looking into the rules of the family we need to communicate with each other what the expectations and boundaries are clearly. Salvador Minuchin is a family therapist he has three types of boundaries that most families follow, the first is a clear boundary and this is where a family is open with each other but their are boundaries between parents and children and children to children. Next there is a open or diffuse boundary this is the boundary where there are not very many rules, and things are very open in the relationships of the family members. The last boundary is the rigid or closed boundary this would be the family that has many rules and tends to keep things to themselves.
      All the different rules and theories that we have discussed make up what is the family.